the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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