Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
