I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
