After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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