Me. At least after what I've been through.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
