So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
