it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
