The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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