But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
