so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
