you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
