she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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