You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
