now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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