its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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