everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
