how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
