6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
