He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
