You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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