i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
