you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We don't watch enough power rangers
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize