My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
