that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Houston, we have a squirter
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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