He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
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My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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