all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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