Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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