why do cheetos always look like penises
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
