i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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