glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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