he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize