How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
