I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
