How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
