He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.