PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
