Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
