If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
