Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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