I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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