my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
