I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
