I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
