I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
