thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
