I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
