My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize