So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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