I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
