Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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