You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
