Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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