Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
