So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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