Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
