Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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