used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You made out with two different species that night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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