she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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