I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
