I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
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I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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