I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize