I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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