I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
only if we run a train.
done.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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