i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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