I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
