Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
