So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
