How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
