i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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