Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
